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The Ponytail Chronicles: Volume 3

Ponytail Chronicles Jim Carey Portland

Update: I look fantastic [see photo.] Bold. Youthful. Renegade. Or do I? Is truth subjective? The other day, I scored a free sample box of Wheaties “Fuel” with my morning paper. Being about 12 emotionally, this was a major coup. Plus, Payton Manning, Kevin Garnett and a couple of other playas I’m supposed to know were glaring out from the package as if to say: “Man up, ponytail boy”. Whoa, back off KG. Remember the T-Wolve years? I’ll take that Fuel. With a Jack Daniels chaser! Truth is, Fuel turned out to be a cloying sugar bomb. Fuel, if anything, for juvenile diabetes. To it’s credit, though, Fuel did deliver me a healthy reminder: In this business of slippery truth, try to linger nearer the real thing. It’s the least I can do. Or maybe the most. Still, I do look good. Unbelievably good. [Jim Carey is a CD at NORTH]

Previous Ponytail Chronicles: Volume 1, Volume 2

Because they can..

Oprah and Franzen - We need your attention...