The Ponytail Chronicles: Volume 1

Jim Carey NORTH Portland

Welcome to a journey. All aboard the “before”. The “after”, I assure you, will justify the ride. Slapped by a sudden spiritual awakening, driven by that middle-aged pull toward meaning, I too have landed on an answer: ponytail. Yep. It’s time to rock this joint- namely Planet Earth. It’s out with the anonymous inch of nondescript pate and in with a mane that shouts “Mt. Hood Blues Fest-deal with it Yuppie Scum”. I’ll look good, no doubt. And, financially, it’ll be a wash. [Savings on Suave LA Street Super Mousse offset by increase in rainbow Scrunchies.] Why here? Why now? Well, frankly, I finished lunch early. I keep checking last year’s NCAA Syracuse/Butler game at ESPN.com but the damn score never changes. Dave, my neighbor here at NORTH, is sick of me likening his obsession with Facebook numbers to Proctor and Gamble ad-testing models of the late ‘80s. Above all, though, everyone needs a mountain to climb.

Perhaps, one day, mine will cascade down to the edge of my butt-crack. Stay tuned. We travel this path together.

Next post: Do we, or don’t we, add an Aussie hat from the Greg Norman “Shark” collection?

[Jim Carey is a CD at NORTH]